Having parents that are about to get divorced could be one of the toughest things that a child would have to face in his or her childhood. Lawyers are limited to what the law and the court allow them to do, but on their human side, they can exercise their judgment so that the best interests of the children can be served. Here are some ways lawyers can deal with children trapped in the midst of a divorce:
Never Speak Badly About Their Parents In Their Presence
As a lawyer, one big reason why your clients who are about to get divorced hired you is that they want to split. This can mean that they will not agree on a lot of things in the process. They can both claim ownership over the house, car, other assets and of course, custody of the kids. You should be aware that this will not be easy for kids, especially when their parents are not in good terms with each other while the proceedings are ongoing.
A lawyer should be detached from his case and client and this means that in lawyering for a couple that is about to get divorced, you are just doing your job. This is not the most loved profession there is, but you can at least act with respect.
”A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.”
Keep Them Out of Property Discussions
One of the biggest issues in any divorce is which goes where, and a lot of couples that divorce fight over this a lot. This can get really ugly and this is why as a lawyer, you should do what you can to get the children out of this. Anyway, the divorce only affects the relationship between the couple.
If the children happen to be a bit older, try to make them understand that what his or her parents are going through is for his or her best interests. Try to make them feel that you are on their side, instead of against them.
Work With a Counselor
As a lawyer, it is, of course, your job to work with the marital status of your client with whatever the law allows. In lay man’s terms, this is kind of tough and this is why your name can be in a bad light if you develop a reputation for being a divorce expert. However, you have to admit that dealing with troubled kids is not exactly your forte. Fortunately, the law allows you to get some help when it comes with this.
Licensed professional counselors are getting more and more popular in court proceedings, especially when it comes to high conflict divorce. Counselors can work closely in a variety of roles when working with families which are apparently torn in divorce litigation.
Help the Parents Help Their Children
Your client can still have strong feelings for his or her partner and this can get in the way of the divorce proceeding or property distribution. You should let your client know that one of the biggest mistakes that they can ever do whilst in the middle of a divorce proceeding is when they put those interests above those of their children. When they refuse to communicate in any practical way, they could give the judge the impression that they do not care about such interests of their children and all they are out for is hurting their co-parent.
Keeping an open and constructive dialogue with the other party is the way to go. You also have to understand that emotional factors will get in the way of your client, so you have to step up many times for him or her.
Do Not Let Your Client Withhold Visitation From The Other Parent
This is a very common instance in high conflict divorce. However, this is against the law. Also, the court will not take this lightly if this is done without a court order. Of course, securing a court order can take some time and there could be some dangers from the visitation environment. If this is the case, then your client can lawfully refuse visitation from the other parent. These, however, are limited to actual and imminent threats.
You might be that much-hated lawyer who can dissolve marriages in an instant, but the welfare of their children is something you have to pay attention to as well. Do you have anything else in mind about dealing with children in the middle of a divorce proceeding? Share with us your thoughts in the comments below.
